Really Random Story
by yawn
Summary: Coming back to life 5.4.05. Get your soda pop and whatnot and get ready to read about some funny things that happen to the RE cast. And if you dislike french people. This is the story for you.
1. Default Chapter

a/n: This is the first chapter of.....REALLY RANDOM STORY: RERANDOMIZED!!!!!  
  
Announcer: Hello ladies and gentlemen, how are you this evening? Good? Peachy. Tonight we are here to finally get Chris a woman!  
  
Audience: Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!  
  
Chris: Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!  
  
Announcer: Yes. Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy...OK! You have 30,000,000 choices tonight Chris, get ready to play....SUPER DUPER SHOW DATE THINGY!!!!!!!  
  
Chris: 30,000,000?!  
  
Announcer: Shut up and sit down idiot homicidal French fry eater. Lets listen to the people!  
  
Girl #1: Hey there cutie. I'm from the USA and I'm a stripper. I'm 19, weigh 20lbs, and I have AIDs!  
  
Girl #2: Wasup bitch.  
  
Chris: AH!  
  
Girl #3: Hey there Chrisy. I'm from France and I have learned to speak-HOLY CRAP! WHY ARE YOU IN HERE!  
  
Chris: eats Girl#3  
  
Girl #4: Hello Chris, I'm from Canada, I'm 26, single, hot, big boobs, and my name is Krisie.  
  
A few days later....  
  
Chris: snores  
  
Announcer: snores  
  
Girl #30,000,000: Hey Chris. I'm only 4 1/2 yews old. I can slaughter billions of innocent french people with but a single flick of my finger.  
  
Announcer: Ok! Wake up ass wipe! kicks Chris in the shin  
  
Chris: OW! hops around  
  
Announcer: Choose your woman!  
  
Chris: Ummmmm k. Hmmmm....ponders  
  
A few years later...  
  
Chris: I'll go with girl #4!  
  
Announcer: from his grave Finally!  
  
Krisie: runs out and jumps on Chris Yay!  
  
Chris: Yay! hugs Krisie then carries her to a hotel only 2 feet away  
  
Announcer: Ok people, pack it up. We gotta go to Barry now.  
  
a/n: Well looks like Chris finally got himself a girl. Bout time. Well hope you all enjoyed this!! 


	2. Yarness!

A/n: Hey peanutbutterinferno, why'd you change from peanutbuttersunshine? That was a good name. Funny. And I laughed my ass off at your review! Thanks!  
  
Krisie: :D  
  
Chris: :D  
  
Both: WE'RE HAPPY!  
  
Jill: THEY WON'T SHUT UP!  
  
Ryu: Why don't you shut up you freaking pregnant person!  
  
Jill: /beats the hell out of Ryu/ YOU'RE THE FATHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Ryu: /is dead/  
  
Elsewhere...  
  
Wesker: Finally my master plan is complete! I shall become the manager of Acadamy!  
  
Manager: Screw you. You're not gonna kill me like you did Marcus! /pulls out a Model 18 machine pistol/  
  
Wesker: Eep! /is shot/  
  
In hell....  
  
Satan: Any of you got any 6s?  
  
Billy: I ALREADY GOT THEM ALL YOU IDIOT!!!!!!  
  
Claire: I'm just gonna look around some more. /Walks around and runs into Samus Aran from Metroid/ Yo.  
  
Samus: Wanna buy some crack? /twitches/  
  
Claire: i'm just gonna...  
  
Samus: DIE!!!!!!!!!!! /equips Plasma beam and shoots at Claire until suddenly.../  
  
Brody: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! /falls on top of Samus/  
  
Rebecca: /lands on top of Brody and gets off/ Hello Claire. Where's Billy?  
  
Billy: /Hears her LOVE BUNNY!!!!!!!!! /runs to Rebecca/  
  
Rebecca: SWEETY!!!!!!!!!! /runs to Billy but falls into a lava pit/  
  
All: HOLY FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Back on earth...  
  
Frodo: Lets go hobbitses! /runs like Gollum/  
  
Gollum: Aren't I supposed to be like that?  
  
Sam: Who cares. Lets get a burger. /walks with Gollum to some place/  
  
Elsewhere....  
  
Building A: Wasup my homies.  
  
Building B C And D: WWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Building A: WWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
In Nemesis's home...  
  
Rubber ducky: /pants/ where to hide..../dives under a dust bunny/  
  
Nemesis: /steps on him/  
  
In peanutbutterinferno's home...  
  
PBI: So...What you're telling me is that I'm just some lonely guy who is taking out all his anger at a story because he can't get a girl?! Boulderdash!  
  
Boulder: Whatever you want chief. /tramples PBI/ Ewwwwwwwwww...I got blood on my nice dirt suit!  
  
END!!!!!!!!  
  
Yawn: Welp, I'm done.  
  
Bob the alien: I'm finally back from Pluto! /is in a space suit/  
  
Yawn: Oooooooooooook...Why'd you go?  
  
Bob: You said you threw your frisby at it!  
  
Yawn: ......./looks around/  
  
Bob: Why ya looking around?  
  
Yawn: YAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! /leaps on Bob and eats him/  
  
Bob: Hold me mommy...It's dark...  
  
A/n: Hope you all liked this! Enjoy! I'll try to update as much as I can between talking to my gf and beating the shit outta my little brother (Justin, if you're reading I WANT MY $20 BACK NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) R&R PLEASE! 


	3. First unfunny thing in here!

a/n: How are all you today?  
  
Brody: Come on. Just do the show.  
  
Wesker: YOU HAD ME SHOT LAST CHAPTER!  
  
Brody: You asked for it!  
  
Wesker: How?!  
  
Brody: You slept with my brother! You freak! /throws up again/  
  
Wesker: Oh. Well I was high and drunk! I took a lot of POCAINE.  
  
Jill: Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I'm running with scissors! /trips and pokes her eye out/ Owies!  
  
Ryu: /is now growing a beard and is fat/ Idiot.  
  
At Chris's house!  
  
Krisie: Wow! Cool house!  
  
Chris: I know. It took me my entire life to get every single gun made to now, but I did it. Then I built this house with them. :)  
  
Krisie: /pounces on Chris and starts kissing him/  
  
Some guy: /pulls a black thing over the screen/ You perverts. This ain't a porno.  
  
ELSEWHERE!  
  
Building A: Oh my God! It's Elephant mouse! /tries to run but falls and crushes 1 billion french people/  
  
Elephant mouse: /eats all the french people/ Yum.  
  
SUDDENLY!  
  
EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD WENT BBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (lots of big letters and exclamation points, huh?)  
  
THEN IT WENT PPPPPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
THEN THEY ALL WENT FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
THEN IT ALL WENT DEAD!  
  
THE END!  
  
Yawn: Yet another chapter done in the name of humanity.  
  
Bob: /is inside Yawn/ But you're a snake!  
  
Yawn: Shut up human!  
  
Bob: Yes sir!  
  
Yawn: Ok! Lets move soldier! /gets Sephiroth's masamune and runs into a crowd of french people/  
  
a/n: And now a preview of the next chapter.  
  
Steve: Claire. I'm pregnant.  
  
ALL IN THE NEXT ACTION PACKED EPISODE OF! REALLY RANDOM STORY: RERANDOMIZED!  
  
And now a word from our sponsors.  
  
Announcer: 5 4 3 2 1 KILLING SPREE!  
  
Random dude: We like to paaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhtay!  
  
Random gal: We like to paaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhtay!  
  
Random dog: Woof woof woof wooooooooooooooooofay!  
  
a/n: Ok. It's really the end now. Just move along. That's right. There's no dead body behind me. No it's not my brother. Bye. Go buy some Powerade. However you spell it.. 


End file.
